I Wished the Floor Would Open Up

I’m at a table in the school library with the class when I stand up, take a step and promptly fall on my face because my foot got tangled in my backpack. Do you think I am mortified or laughing at myself?

My 11-year-old face instantly gets hot and sweaty. I wish the floor would open up and swallow me but it doesn’t so l let my long hair cover my face as I run to the restroom begging the tears not to start until I get there. I am beyond mortified.

I don’t know when most people learn to laugh at themselves but I learned it too late. Not even in high school. Somewhere in college I realized that if there is an option to actually laugh at myself before someone else does, or even while someone else does, it is so much better. If I laugh, they can’t laugh AT me right? What if I had just stood up and laughed it off? At least that’s how I rationalized it and it made me feel better.

There are a slew of things I would tell my younger self, but some I wouldn’t. The mistakes I’ve made have brought me to where I am today and I love where I’m at. But maybe I could do it with less angst, heartache and self esteem issues, and instead have greater confidence and care less what people think.

Once you care less about what other people think it’s as if a weight is lifted. That doesn’t mean you care less about yourself, it means the opposite. It means you care MORE.

I can’t find the credit for that quote above, but man it’s true.

While my 11-year-old self felt like I was moments from dying, today I can look back at that moment and laugh. It just took longer than I thought.

I encourage you to laugh more in general, but also at yourself. You can take it.