I don’t buy it.
Recently a friend was recounting some pains from more than 20 years ago. People she genuinely cared about and thought were her friends had really hurt her. And then everyone moved on with their lives: jobs, cross country moves, careers, relationships, cross town moves.
But do the pains go away? Or do they leave a mark?
She said that time really had healed all wounds. She was over it. The hurt from 20 years ago wasn’t there anymore and all was forgiven. She is in touch with a lot of those people from back in the day and even has hung out with many of them. Water under the bridge and all that. I heard what she was saying but I didn’t believe her. It was a lot to forgive and if she truly had, she was a better person than I was for sure.
But what do I know?
Me. I just know me.
I think I am pretty good about letting things go. Life is too short to dwell on the small things. But…. at the same time, I can’t forget they happened. I cannot erase certain events from my memory. They left their marks and lead me to make the decisions that brought me to where I am today, and I really like where I am today.
Being teased in school — that left a mark that is not healed. Crazy stalker ex-boyfriend — definitely left a paranoia mark that is not gone 20+ years later.
So while those marks and a few others are still there, and not totally healed, I choose to acknowledge the other marks I’ve received. Two pregnancies have marked my body and definitely changed my brain, and I’m more than ok with that. I have a few laugh lines around my eyes and I know they are there because we laugh so much in our house I have really earned them. Making new friendships with awesome people that get me more than anyone has in a long time and being married to an amazing man that helps me be the best version of myself make my heart feel good.
It’s funny what we remember isn’t it? In 2017 I’m going to focus on all those good marks and do my best to keep them coming. You should too.